HOW TO BE A GREAT SOCCER PARENT

As our children start to play on competitive teams, many parents want to know: What can I do to help my child succeed and enjoy the experience? 

At JOÜK, we believe these five simple tips are key: 


1. STAY FOCUSED ON YOUR PLAYER’S GROWTH - NOT SCORES

For younger players, playing on a team is really about learning skills, playing with other kids, and learning to love the game.  As parents, the most important questions we can ask ourselves are:

  • “Is my child enjoying this?”

  • “Is my child learning?” 

Less important is: “Is my child’s team winning tournaments?” 

Learning means young footballers get a chance to play each position, not just the one they’re already best at. 

Learning means making mistakes, and growing from them. Young players should play against both more beginner teams (to gain confidence in what they’ve already learned) and more advanced teams (to see what the next level looks like).  

A coach that’s focused on team win tallies won’t allow these important things to happen. At JOÜK and Centaurus FC, we’re focused on each player’s development. We believe a new skill learned or a new idea grasped, are the true victories.  

2. MAKE SOCCER PART OF YOUR FAMILY’S CULTURE

Imagine you are seven and you love soccer, but the only people you’ve ever seen playing are your friends.  One day your mom or dad shows you a video of Vinicius Junior’s or Marta Vieira’s best moves and goals. Imagine the amazement you’d feel seeing these pro players doing amazing dribbles and flying bicycle-kick goals! 

While watching a whole Champions’ League game may be too much for most younger kids’ attention spans, they will get great joy and inspiration from:

  • Picking a team to support 

  • Seeing Youtube highlight videos of great players’ amazing moments. Here are three: Kylian Mbappe and Marta Vieira Da Silva or this great compilation

  • Watching inspiring videos about players’ life stories, like “Heart of Lio,” about Lionel Messi, or “The Life of a Football Legend” about Cristiano Ronaldo.

  • Going to kick the ball around at parks like Riverside, Pier 40, or Flushing Meadow Park, where kids can see older players with nice moves enjoying the game

  • Catching a New York City Football Club match (NYCFC) at Yankee stadium.


3. PLAY PICKUP GAMES

That multi-age, laughter-filled free play many of today’s kids are sorely missing? Pickup soccer games have all that, and are a great way to practice new skills in a low-stakes environment.  

Yet many kids on teams have literally never played informal pickup soccer!  

Image by Freepik

You can easily change that. Literally, just look for another family you see kicking the ball around in the park and asking them if they’d like to play a pickup game.  Soccer transcends language and cultural differences just about every time. 

Let your kids mess around practicing moves with the other kids afterwards. You’ll teach them the great lesson that soccer is fun, life-long, and social, and you may just see their skills and confidence blossom. 

4. PLAY MONSTER IN THE MIDDLE

One of the hardest skills for younger kids to understand is moving into open space when they want the ball—and staying close to the player with the ball when they’re on defense. They tend to do just the opposite. 

Monster/monkey/pig in the middle (a possession game no matter what you call it) is a great game to help kids understand space. It’ll also help them keep their heads up, and think what they’ll do with the ball before they get it (two more truly key soccer skills). 

Play keepaway between three, rotating who’s the “monster” frequently (don’t let anyone get stuck in the middle too long.) 

Encourage them to “Get away from the monster!” to receive the ball, and “Get in between us!” to steal the ball.  It’s a beautiful thing to see the moment your child gets it. 

5.  AT LEAGUE GAMES, KEEP IT POSITIVE

We’ve all seen those crazy sports parent moments (hopefully just on Youtube and not in real life!) where a parent runs onto the field to yell at their child, a referee, or some other madness. 

While most of us can be confident we’ll never go that berserk, this reminder is still useful:  Keep it positive in the stands, and let go of yelling out instructions.

One coach and mentor told me early on, teaching happens in practice, and the game is for kids to use what they’ve learned. You wouldn’t yell instructions to your kid during an exam or final dance performance–it’s distracting and discouraging, plus it’s basically too late.  Same in soccer. Simply put, it hinders their learning.

Photo by Chiheb Chakchouk

You don’t need to be as quiet as a Wimbledon spectator, just keep it positive. Imagine things you’d like to hear while playing: “You got it!” “Gooll !!!” “YEAH, (name)!” 

Same goes for after the game. When you’ve noticed something nice your child did, feel free to mention it. When you’ve noticed mistakes, leave that to the coach to work on in practice. 

Overall, young kids are looking to you to understand sportsmanship. Laugh, smile, and enjoy the game with good humor, and they will too. We’re all learning as parents too, so if you ever have a question about what else you can do to support your child in this journey, feel free to reach out to the JOÜK coaches.

Happy playing and see you on the field and court!

Franziska Renata